When it comes to raising our children without school, without rules in place and without guided lessons, can we trust them enough to find there own learning path, to make good decisions and to become responsible young adults?
When my children became school aged I sent them of to school just like I was taught- as soon as they started public school it just did not feel right, How can I be the parent I want to be, live the life I wanted for my children, filled with adventure and exploration if this was now how our life's where mapped out for us.- I began to question why, after I spent my own childhood attending public school, now as a adult to realise I have not needed any of it in todays world. I have taught myself everything I have needed to learn through research and curiosity. The question on my mind was Will that be enough for my children as well, can I trust them to learn all they need through their own curiosities on this unschooling journey?
3 UNSCHOOLing YEARS LATER..
If it is one thing I have learnt is that children do deserve our TRUST
If you are a new unschooling parent , this takes time, its a crazy notion we where all born into a society that creates a barrier in our beliefs that children can not be trusted and that they are not capable of responsible decision making. Once you accept that this isn't the case.Unschooling will become the best decision you ever made for your family. Trust will not be a over night thing. Once you deschool yourself and stop trying to force learning.Your child will begin in believing they are cable of their own path. They will find things they are curious about and begin to " teach" themselves. They will discover independence and trust you will help guide them with their curiosities if they need.
Unschooling and trust works 2 ways, its not just you as the parent who has to learn to trust- it is also your child. Once you start unschooling , more trust between you and your child begin to develop
ONE
Your child will become to TRUST
trust - in themselves, that they are more clever then they ever thought possible, they will begin to realise they do not need to be told how to learn something, they do not need to be graded or have expectations because they begin to learn for the love of it and not to learn to pass a test or receive points.
trust-they have100 % of their parents support and patience. Your child will begin to realise that you trust them enough and believe in them enough to follow their interests. You will begin to notice over time how much your child confines in you, asks more questions and the conversations yous develop are more real then ever before. Your child begins to trust you see them as a cable young adult and not as a small child
trust- they will be allowed to follow things they find interesting (even if it is video games)- When you are completely onboard with the unschooling path and you do allow your child to do WHAT they want and not what you think they should be doing "learning"- Your child will begin to trust ,that no matter what they find interesting or whatever their curiosity may lead them you support them (because by doing this you are creating a motivated learner, passion leads to exploration, discovery and further knowledge- they may look like they are just playing video games, but Remember everything turns into learning- half a year they may be interested in video games and the next they are interested in cooking.
trust- they will not be forced into learning (just like school)- Once you stop believing that learning can only happen by being forced , with curriculums, worksheets and what you think "learning" looks like - your child can begin to naturally learn, they will begin to trust you believe in them enough to not force their learning and trust in their natural learning ability
trust- they are in fact cable and independent !!
Two
Unschooling teaches you as a parent to also TRUST
trust- your child will learn when the time is right, maybe not " when others who attend school do, but when they are naturally ready"- just remember some kids may learn to write at 6 some at 8 or some at 12, there is no rush to learning.
trust- your child will learn all that THEY require, -your child may not remember calculus they are taught at school because it has no real value in their daily lifes, but just know what they need in their lifes today,tomorrow or 10 years for now, they will LEARN themselves
trust- that over time your child will become responsible and independent, filled with alot of different knowledge as they have been allowed the time to pursue their own interests
trust- that the education system(school) is not needed and that your child , just like every child was born naturally curious and with the ability to learn from their environment, just as they did when they learnt to walk and talk as toddlers.
trust - that the bond between child and parent who trust each other lasts a lifetime
Unschooling just like alot of things, takes time but only works by one simple thing and that is
TRUST
As john holt states:
To trust children we must first learn to trust ourselves .-and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted. 