When I first had children did, I ever imagine 10 years down the track
that we would be living on a small island in the middle of the ocean, that my children would be following a natural learning/unschooling path or that my preferred parenting method would be free range parenting?
If you think the answer to all this is no, then you are incorrect!
I always knew the way I would raise my children would be of a different path to most. There was always something inside me, questioning why society should dictate the outcome of my life and why I have to raise my children according to that.
When my children were babies I couldn't understand why I should wake them every 3 hours for a feed , when they looked so peaceful asleep, Why I should let them cry it out and self soothe when all they desire is closeness, I couldn't understand why ,when they reach a particular age they should go off to school, be "controlled" into studying, writing, reading, learning -what someone else tells them for the next 10 odd years because its apparently going to help them in adulthood, and knowing every day the future is changing ,that they can learn almost anything they want from a quick google search instead of years behind a desk and I couldn't understand who made all these rules. But most of all I couldn't help to think that if I was a mother in a tribe , who has never had the western society influence over my parenting ways, would I ever wake a sleeping baby? would I let my child cry out the whole village ,for so called self soothing? would I send my young child of to learn how to hunt and gather from reading a textbook ,or send them of to learn about Trigonometry ,knowing it has no real importance for their future? I would defiantly not !!
Instead I imagine mothers of tribes who have never had society influence over them ,would instead follow their mothering instinct, not follow how to parent guidelines and checkpoints they read and hear on media but from what they feel by being Intune with their child, by following what nature has given them, maternal instinct!
Raising children in a society that has increasing demands for us to try mould our children and even ourselves as mothers into perfection, so we don't be judged, labelled or even bullied, is exhausting. To parent in a society that demands us to stay in our box, just to be able to fit into what is consider socially normal is exhausting.
To break away and step of the beaten path, and to journey down the path less travelled amidst a world full of concrete pathways, to be on my own unique parenting journey, feels true.
My children get to return to a childhood that one loses once they hit school age and their time becomes consumed by school ,Extracurricular activities and daily schedules- and I get to return to a motherhood in which I get to watch my children grow , watch them thrive and watch them become young adults who Learn by doing, learn by being a part of this world, learn by following curiosity and learn all that is TRULY necessary for THEM to succeed in adulthood.
Motherhood shouldn't be exhausting, it should be how you imagined, you shouldn't try to tick all the boxes for approval from others, instead you should try tick all the boxes for approval from yourself and how YOU feel you should raise your child.
I raise my children unschooled, because I believe in them enough to learn all they require WHEN they require it, Just as I did when they were babies and I believed in them enough to learn to walk and talk when they were ready.
I let them have Autonomy and "free range" because I see how cable they are ,I do not see them as a young child but as a young adult navigating through this world, learning mistakes, and real life consequences, learning to take and apply action , learning to trust in themselves that in fact they are capable, I trust in them to learn by having real hands on opportunities, they learn that they have 100% support and learn that when the time comes they will be ready and have learnt enough tools to succeed as independent adults , as they have been allowed autonomy.
My children are some of the funniest, kindest and capable children I know, to spend nearly 24/7 with them, and continue to be able to talk, laugh, joke, and enjoy each other's company is what motherhood is about for me.
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